"It has happened to others before you.... "

By Grace Kossi, who is a young mother speaking of her experience as a 'child mother.

I am a young lady of 24 years, from a family of nine with four brother and two sisters.  My child was born when I was only 16 years of age, which caused me much misery, depression and frustration due to our cultural practice to make a girl an outcast, if she got pregnant before marriage.   I became a social misfit.

Grace with her daughter, Shalon, taken
today, May 25, 2013.

Because of my presence in my father’s home, he was no longer invited to attend meetings of elders or the community.  For my father, this was a negative judgment from the community and indicated that they had lost respect for my father, as he had not done the right thing and chased me from the house.   Life in my father’s home became harder and harder.  He was always angry, and my mother was always crying.

My mother remained forever hopeful for my success in life, because my father blamed her and accused her of destroying my life. Though the community blamed my father and my father blamed my mother, my beloved mother never blamed me.  She said, “It has happened to others before you, and God will help you out.”

As the days passed, stresses of all kinds surrounded my life.  I knew that I needed education to bring up my daughter, but it was all in vain.  As the stress grew, I developed ulcers that made me grow thinner and thinner until I reached 35kg (77 lb).

Grace has secured part-time work with Sauti Moja.

In a period of time between 2005 and 2006, I spent most days in bed due to sickness and depression.  During those days, I would dream a dream so sweet, but I didn’t understand it or take it seriously.  It was all about the success in my future.  First, I saw a tailoring machine, which was mine; second, I was on a computer typing; and third, I was in school.  The dream went on repeatedly until one day God opened the door of love, peace and prosperity.  A community-based organization, ‘Sauti Moja’, uplifted me from my life that I thought would never be good. 

Thanks to God, I am well again, and my daughter is a happy eight year old.  Although my daughter has been diagnosed with a hearing impairment, she is showing signs of improvement, since Sauti Moja arranged for a medical exam and hearing aids.  We continue to remain hopeful. 

Grace with her sponsor and
daughter, Shalon.

Today, I have completed Form 4 (Grade 12), Peace and Justice training, and completed a Certificate in Community Development and Social Work with the help of God and a Sauti Moja sponsor.  (Grace has expressed great appreciation for the support of the Anderson Family).  I am hoping to join a Diploma program in September.  My daughter and I are grateful for Sauti Moja and pray that God continues to bless their work and fulfill their mission of care and concern for poor and vulnerable widows and children.

Before, I was just nothing but an unwanted person in a community that would not recognize me.  Today,  I work part-time with Sauti Moja Marsabit and everyone is happy for my success!

I hope that one day I will be in a position to fight against demeaning cultural practices.  Every human-being has the right to live.  This is my advice to young ladies, “Life does not end when you have a pregnancy outside of marriage.  Avoid the situation as much as you can, but if it happens, don’t give up. Instead, pray that God will use well wishers or other means to secure your life.”

Sauti Moja Donor Shares an Inspirational Message

Mary, Sauti Moja 'girl mother' sponsor.

Through video, Sauti Moja enriched the relationship of a sponsor with a beneficiary.   Mary enjoyed the video she received of the ‘girl mother’ she sponsors; this girl spoke about her situation, challenges and aspirations.  Now, the communication becomes two-way, when Mary shares an inspirational message.  This video clip connects the young mother to her sponsor who communicates a compassionate message of support, putting a human face to the outreach which comes from her heart.

A Son's Tribute to his Widowed Mother and her Sacrifice

by Peter Mirgichan, as told to Lyn Bishop

Sauti Moja is proud to have Mirgichan working as a program assistant in Logologo where he was raised and his mother lives.

Mirgichan and his widowed mother.

At a young age, my mother, a Rendille pastoralist, became the second wife to an old man, and gave birth to three daughters and me. After my father’s death and according to cultural practice, my mother, as second wife, inherited no livestock: all the livestock was shared among the first wife and her sons. For a pastoralist, livestock equals life, but even though my mother was left without even a goat, she was not bitter. She accepted her fate in her culture, but did not lose hope. In her struggle to provide for us, she committed herself to backbreaking work.

My mother began the laborious task of fetching water for other people. This paid only about Ksh500 (~$10) every month carrying five jerry cans of 20 litres (22 kg) each on a round-trip walk of 4 km. This activity was totally exhausting for a woman under five feet tall, but then, she would also fetch firewood for sale when time allowed. That was her hardest task, since she had to walk a longer distance and carry a heavier load. When she returned home from searching for firewood, it was late afternoon after which she would walk to town in the hopes of finding a buyer. Sometimes, a couple of days could go buy before a buyer was found, and time really matters when you are the sole provider. In addition to fetching water and firewood, she would also carry people’s luggage for a small fee. My sister, Ann, and I were upset to see her so exhausted with no time to rest, but our mother’s daily sacrifice for us did not go unnoticed. We were both committed to staying focused on our studies so that one day, we could relieve our mother’s load.

In 2004, my sister and I completed primary school. Having two children attending secondary school was the most challenging and difficult thing that my mother experienced. She asked for people in the community to contribute so that we could at least enter school, but community members were discouraging to her. They felt that Ann should not go to school but remain to help fetch water and firewood. The elders even approached my mother to release her daughter into a marriage in exchange for some valued livestock, but she remained firm that she wanted both her son and daughter to attend secondary school. Finally, through a combination of community support, support from local agencies, and a positive response from the school to reduce tuition, we both gained admittance into secondary school.

The challenge of education costs did not end, as every year, for four years, there was a new search for the next year’s fees. In our poverty, it was not easy to submit our school fees on time. One time, the headmaster announced, “Those who have outstanding school fees will not be allowed back next year. This is not an orphanage!”, and I knew he was speaking to me. In that moment, I was so ashamed and angry, and I felt that all eyes were upon me. I told my mother I would not go back to school, but she would not support my ‘proud heart’.  She told me that it was not what the headmaster said but what God saw in my heart that mattered.

Realising the benefits from a good education was far into the future, and sometimes, my mother’s needs were urgent. Schools for youth were far away from rural communities, and as such, we were unable to return home very often.  However, I remember once returning from school to find my mother’s home ready to fall over. I quickly organized my friends, and collected enough sticks to repair her small home.

Today, I have not only completed Form 4 but graduated from Mt. Kenya University. My sister found employment as an assistant with a local school, and I have been employed as a program assistant with Sauti Moja Marsabit. I am proud to be working for Sauti Moja, as my mother was first supported by Sauti Moja which provided her with 6 goats that have now become 13 and with family health training and food aid during drought. Now, my sister and I also contribute to my mother’s household, and she no longer needs to fetch water and firewood for others. We are coming through our struggles, together.

One very important thing I would like to point out about my mother is that she is a Christian, and one who prays all the time despite the difficulties that she passes through. My mother would give thanks to God, even if her meal was only tea. She has taught me that even a simple cup of tea can feel greater than a banquet, if one is truly thankful. My mother is and has always been a very rich woman. Today, I see my mother as a courageous Christian; I seek to be as rich in faith and as courageous in spirit, as she has been all her life.